We Lit the Night

Rain or shine and the night still went on. As the night of the walk grew closer, my excitement grew. This year the team had grow from three or four to at least ten. Ten. I am grateful for the ten that could make it physically, but also for the ones who registered and couldn't make it out.
A year ago, the phrase "rain or shine" would have deterred me from walking. I am not a huge risk taker so walking in a thunder storm would not have been an option for me at all; I definitely would not have asked others to come out with me. But the way things turned out couldn't have been any better.

My thoughts on Artistry

I must be entering a new phase in my life. Either that, or I guess I'm just discovering Me. I didn't realize until the summer how much I really love Stevie Wonder. I do not have nearly enough of his work in my music library, so nearly every week I hear another song by him that touches my soul.  That says a lot about his music in my opinion. I do feel that if a person's work touches another person in some way, even if the person was just getting something off his or her chest, then the music was actually music. It's kind of like the tree falling in the forest and only one person being a witness to it.  I'm pretty sure that when Stevie Wonder was writing, he didn't have me in mind. He was writing what was in his heart, and it is that music that has transcended into my heart this day. 

Custom Made Summer

When I set up camp in Jackson for the summer, never did I think I would have a summer of such epic proportions. 

I didn't know what I was going to do with three months of free time, with no job and no specific plans. What was I supposed to do? 

I signed up for a quilting class.

Now, I know a lot of you think that quilting is something your grandparents did way back in the day.  You probably have a quilt on your bed or just one for decoration in your house. Well, I have have news for you. 

Quilting is not a lost art. I went into that classroom expecting to be the youngest one there. I was wrong. I was fascinated by a little girl who watched attentively as I learned to cut fabric and also as I learned to thread the sewing machine. (I'd never touched a sewing machine in my life)

Being able to learn something as intricate as making a quilt from start to finish has been one of the most enriching experiences in my life thus far. What made it even better was the fellowship and the warm and inviting spirit in the room. 

Every person that I had the privilege to even sit by had some helpful knowledge to offer. The joy of being able to lose myself in a project for a couple of hours and taking complete control over the design is freeing to me. Every Wednesday I had a reason to laugh and smile. When I think of each child that has recieved a quilt made by the members of the class, I know each of them has a reason to smile too. 

Here is a photo log of my first sewing experience. 

This is the first block consisting of two contrasting fabrics. 

Once I sewed about twenty blocks, I laid them out on a table in different patterns until I liked one of them. 

Once I decided a pattern, I sewed the blocks together in rows. After the five rows were completed, I found a green fabric that complimented the colors in the blocks. The strips in between the rows makes the quilt top longer and wider. After that I sewed all the pieces together. Then came the batting and the backing. 

It took me, a beginner(and a perfectionist)    3 whole months to do what I watched several complete in a few weeks. 

Currently Under Construction

Hi Everyone,

It has been a while since I have had the courage and words to properly express the things that are on my mind. But here I am, home for the summer. 

It's like time has stood still at home. Sure there are some changes in scenery but things are still the same. 

I can still rely on being welcome at home, at church, and around my family, and I can rely on it feeling like it's 80 degrees at night, which is oddly something I look forward to in summertime. 

I get this feeling that this is the last time I can look at life this way, without being on somebody's payroll, and without having to wake up for any classes. Every summer growing up I had a summer camp to attend or a big trip planned for church or for choir. 

But all that time, I had never thought that there would be a break. Not just a summer break but an actual lull in my life that would lead to a revelation such as the one I am having right now. 

For everyone that knows me, or grew up with me, you would be surprised at all of the things I AM NOT doing right now. While for a more than a second I was questioning God about why I didn't get an internship or a huge solo, afterwards I am more peaceful and thankful than I could have ever imagined. I was way too comfortable being that girl getting everything I wanted whether I worked for it or not. That leads me to believe that it takes more than just staying out of trouble. Everything I have witnessed in the lives of others and in my own says that it truly take acknowledgement of God's purpose for your life. And finally I am going to stop running away from mine. So yes, I am currently under construction. 

How is Life Treating You?

So... My brother just asked me how I was treating life. Not how life is treating me. 

Am I treating life like God created me to live it all to glorify Him? 

We must ask ourselves if we are being the instruments that God has created us to be in this life.

If the devil had his way, based on all the foolishness going on around me, the pain of rejection, lost friendships, and stress should have me crazy right now. If the past six months went by without me having this revelation, I would probably be dropping out of college right now. 

BUT I AM NOT!!  

It seems like one day last week, between trying to meet a person halfway, and accomplishing my own goal after all my hard work, something clicked. I am finally free to be happy. Finally able to be who I am supposed to be. 

You know how when you get really nervous or stressed out, and your body is leting you know; You get all sweaty, you feel like things are moving in slow motion and things  irritate you that shouldn't. You can't sleep. Well, none of this happened to me last week, when normally in certain situations it would. God has really been working on me. I'm saying that this feeling I am feeling is one that I haven't truly felt in about five years. I didn't even realize I was keeping track of time until I tried to reach back to the memory of when I felt the slightest bit of normalcy in my life. 

I was 16 and having the best summer of my life. Traveling, volunteering, spending time with family and friends. It's a blessing that I'm even alive to tell me story today. Sometimes I can get through a whole day not remembering that I even had cancer, but then a commercial comes on or I will hear an offensive lyric in a rap song. Imagine what comes next. 

Despite all if this, I am not afraid to tell anyone who will listen and even those who won't.  Jesus is alive and He is keeping me for a reason. We may not get it, but I've come to the conclusion that it may not be time to get it. That's the part of life that baffles us. When I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and it feels like a cave, I remember that I am not alone and that God promised me that it was a tunnel not a cave. 

Questions

How do you know if you should give something up and choose a new path?

I'm in a position where I know what the ultimate end result is and I am really really close to it, but I feel as if one more step towards it is going to drive me insane because it's not in my heart. 

Why do people keep score in friendships and romantic relationships?

Seriously! Your friend saying "All those times you cried on my shoulder" makes you think twice. Are you my friend? Or am I just your basket case? You know who you are. Either you've been in the basket or you've carried it. Pick one please. 

If a tree falls in forest and no one is around to hear it....

No I'm serious. I've been trying this experiment in my own life, and that should be hard considering the campus I live on, but surprisingly, I feel like I'm that tree in the empty forest. No one calls or comes by to see if you are even alive. 

This goes for everyone: just because you see a person and they look ok, does not mean a thing. 

Feel free to answer these questions. I would really like to know what y'all are thinking. Thanks!!